I would be quite happy for a policeman to clip me round the ear for asking him the time, as long as he was also allowed to hose down morons when necessary.

I am just starting to understand what it is I didn't want to know.

Band name has been changed to 'The four stroke five'.

Trying to play the bass guitar dont arf make yer arm ache, youd think id be used to it but its the wrong hand.

I'm a bit like a dog. Sniff it out, maybe give it a lick.

Is it me or do politicians just talk more and more shit?

I think Lawd Shooger likes to see ego's busted.
One day it will be his turn.

If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you,

Tomorrow and today, now there's a paradox.

Some people think I'm a little queer. However, I am quite large and just a bit strange.

livin on bookface
watchin the bean race
all of them nuts
but I'm probly worse

Lost in spac e

Peace and space. The fuel of philosophy.

Why did God invent silly old gits?

Was that extra punktuation or is it just a piece of fluff on the screen

Imagine you have the most beautiful apple.

You can eat it..................or

You can watch it go rotten and put it in the compost.

The old ones are the best ones?

I was standing on a quite high balcony earlier, and got a sudden urge to toss myself off.

If Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness, then I've been there nearly 50 years./,#;.,[]...

A young man on the news tonight said we didnt vote for a coalition. What did we vote for? I voted UKIP. Not that i thought it would make any differance but I may as well have not bothered. xx love you bye

A few days ago, Bob Diamond managed to fob off demands for some common sense to return to banking, and refused to say whether he would accept his multi million pound bonus.
Today I read that Barclays have to repay 60 million to people it miss sold dodgy stuff , and is being fined 6m. Bob Diamond was head of the department at the time.
Does this bloke love money so much that he does not care what a cunt everone thinks he is.